So I have taken a break from blogging for a while but I feel as though this is a fitting occasion to begin posting again. Today will go down in history as the day that Love Won in the United States . It overwhelms me with so much joy knowing that someday I can get married to the love of my life and not have to worry about moving to a state where it is legally recognized. Today showed me the true colors of the people in my life. Many many friends and family showed a kind of support that I have never seen from them before and others disappointed me with their ignorance and hatred. However, the overwhelming response from the people I care most about was enough to keep my great mood going the rest of the day. I am truly blessed to live this life of mine and to be so supported and accepted from the people that matters the most. I can’t wait to experience marriage that has been denied to so many before me. As the bible says, “love never fails” and it surely won today.
Today is the day we all celebrate our Mothers. The ones who gave us life and raised us to be who we are. Mothers don’t have to necessarily be biological, they can also be teachers, bosses, and all other women that inspire us. My mom, although we have our issues is one of the greatest women on earth. She has shown me nothing but selfless love in my 20 years of existence. She works so hard and she is so strong.
My mom always says “No matter where you go, No matter what you do, I’ll always always love you.” and she hasn’t failed me yet. (And she never will).
I’m so lucky to have such an amazing mom and other mother figures in my life to guide me and keep me steadfast through life’s greatest storms.
My family had a reunion for the first time in over ten years and I was super nervous. You know that awkward feeling you get when you haven’t seen these random people related to you in the longest time? Like so long you don’t even remember them? That’s exactly how I was feeling.
I was so pleasantly surprised. When I got there everyone was so sweet and generous. I fully enjoyed myself. My mom and I got to ride on my second cousin’s boat and we had a blast. I haven’t had this much fun with my family in a long time and it was so refreshing.
It was just the push I needed to get through these last few finals.
So, when is the right time to move in with your significant other? Well I suppose for some people it is very early on in the game and for others, they wait quite some time. I bring this topic up because Bernadette and I are MOVING IN TOGETHER! IT is super exciting and the right move for the both of us.
We have been together for about a year now and we have reached the point in our relationship that we want to try living together. I have seen couples move in together after a few months of being together. To each his own but I always advise people to live on their own before living with someone else just to become aware with your living habits and to become established in your own right.
Lesbian couples are known for being “Uhaul Lesbians” and moving in with each other soon after the start of their relationship. While this isn’t a complete myth, it does not hold true for all lesbian relationships.
It is all about what makes you and your partner comfortable in the long run. Don’t ever make a rash decision when it comes to sharing a living space with your significant other — it could be catastrophic.
So this week has been rough to say the lease… HOWEVER because my girlfriend knew how bad of a week I had, she came into town for the first time in three weeks to cheer me up! I swear this girl never fails to give me butterflies.
On another note, school has been kicking my butt and I am so thankful that IT IS ALMOST OVER! Bernadette’s visit is just what I need to beat the finals blues.
I have gotten pretty deep with this blog and I have dug into the deep chambers of my heart to give you the realest content I could possibly give. But there is one subject that I try not to tread too much… my dad.
My father was the most perfect daddy a girl could ever ask for. From a very young age I was a huge daddy’s girl. I always wanted to spend time with him and I could relate to him in a lot of ways.
I have many great memories with my dad; Saints games (dad was a season ticket holder), getting my belly button pierced (Mom was NOT happy), listening to music, going to water parks, traveling, and so much more.
I say was because my dad is no longer physically with me. He passed away about a year and a half ago of cancer.
He was my number one fan. He brought me flowers to all of my plays and dance recitals. Not to mention he was one of the first people I came out to when I was still in high school. He just laughed a little and told me he figured. He also gave me the biggest bear hug and told me that it was okay.. he was here for me and always will be.
I miss him so so much on days like today. I know that he is always with me and he is still my knight in shining armor and my protector even now.
I feel as though my dad played a major role in my coming out process and if it had not been for him, I would still be in the closet. I don’t know what I would have done without him in my life.
This weekend has been crazy hectic and I can’t even believe that the semester is almost over! The highlight of my weekend was my pledge class sleepover. A pledge class is exactly what it sounds like. It is the group of women I got into Tri Sigma with. We all try to get together as often as possible in order to keep our bond strong. After all, once all the older pledge classes move on and graduate, all we will have is each other that has been there from the beginning of our Sigma journey.
There were a small group of girls in my pledge class that I do not really get to hang around with outside of school and Sigma events and so I never really told them…. well told them about me and my now out of the closet sexual orientation.
Of course I was well aware that they all knew from other people but I had never truly told them or talked about it with them myself. And at the sleepover I did just that.
A few of us went into the kitchen to grab some midnight snacks and we just talked about it. I’m not even too sure how we got on the subject because I was just so liberated and happy that they were so amazingly supportive. I know I always seem so surprised when people are so cool about it but I don’t think I give my peers enough credit.
We were laughing about how I came out to other Sigmas and the crazy stigma that goes along with it but I was most definitely myself… and it was so freeing and perfect.
Just thought I’d share about my crazy but amazing weekend!
Coming out seems to be a bit of a theme this week… but it is very fitting for what is going on in my life currently so that’s that.
This Buzzfeed video brought me to tears the first time I ever watched it. Why you ask? Because it just made me realize that things get better. Family gets over it eventually (well if they are good family) and your peers just start to get used to it and accept it.
I understand that this will be a long journey ahead for my family and I but honestly, it is so worth it to be completely out in the open with everyone. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not anymore to anyone and I honestly feel so liberated and free.
Anyway, here’s the video. Have a great Sunday!
I came out to my mom today and it was the hardest thing that I could do, however it went better than I could have ever hoped for.
My mom will never fully accept my life but with time she will realize that I am happy. “I will always love you no matter what and you will always be welcome into my life.” Those words gave me the biggest sigh of relief. I think that once the initial shock subsides we can finally move forward.
I don’t expect her to be happy for me or to be excited that I am a lesbian.. I knew that was a long shot. As long as she still wants me to be happy, I can live with that.
Coming out is beyond scary but it was quite honestly so awesome. I felt so beyond free of the lies I was telling my mom for so long. We could finally break through the wall and address the elephant in the room aka my sexual orientation. A word of advice, don’t come out until you’re ready. It’s OKAY to be scared. It is so rewarding in the long run I pinky promise.
TRI SIGMA WON SONGFEST… AGAIN!
I couldn’t be more proud to say that my sorority won songfest for the second year in a row. All the hard work and late nights payed off. In case you didn’t know songfest is the holy grail of awards that each sorority wants to attain each year, but there can only be one winner. It is sort of like a dance competition mixed in with skits and props.
What made the win worth while was having Bernadette there to watch me dance. I have never had someone come watch me before so having us win while she was in the audience had me beaming.
I am so lucky to have such a supportive woman in my life. She literally goes to EVERYTHING and she is 110% always there. All of my sisters were just as stoked as I was to have her here with me. This week was one for the books.